New lessons and fears

I knew that as my little guy got older I would learn something new about raising a child and about myself but what I didn't expect is that being pregnant again, I would still be learning new things about being pregnant or new information, but I guess every pregnancy and delivery is different. I am now a week and three days away from my due date, and one of the nurses in my doctor's practice gave me some great sites to check out that I never heard of before but have been around for awhile. One of the sites being if I had questions about what supplements I can take while pregnant more importantly what to avoid. The site is Mother Risk - Sick Kids Hospital . The other site was for breast feeding, from the breast guru I guess, Dr. Jack Newman.

What I really wasn't expecting is my fear of labour this time around. I had a c-section with my first, therefore there is another risk of having the baby the old fashioned way (yes I hate using the actual name for the labour out of the girlie parts). I know the risk of "uterine tearing" or eruption is very small, but if it happens man is it terrifying. I know with any labour there is a potential for risk and something could go wrong, but this was not one more risk I wanted to face. So then why don't I just decided on another c-section? Having to do a c-section the first time was a very hard choice for me, and something keeps telling me that I have to man up and that the old fashioned way is the way I am meant to do this. Also not getting to experience the delivery vaginally (ok I said it) the first time, the pain of that experience is still something I have yet to face, and terrifying. Next week though I decide for sure if I am going c-section way because they think the problem is that I have a small pelvis and unable to deliver, hence I wasn't able to with the first. As I am experience a lot discomfort this last month and my body all seems to be ready, but no way out through the tunnel, sorry baby, and sorry to my readers who find this too graphic. I will though spare my readers all the jokes my family have all come up with, to make me laugh about the situation :).

Therefore even with this being baby number two I still feel like a "new mom".