When work was busy I was fine, but before, after, and lunch was rough. Today was Mateo's first day at daycare and my first day back to work.
I dropped him off and he went to play right away, and I didn't want to leave him but I knew I had to. I cried in the car after, and then cleaned myself up and went to work.
Well lunch rolled around and I went straight away to call the daycare to see how he was doing. They said he ate a lot (of what I packed him), and they kept feeding him because he looked hungry, until they realized he was a black hole (I warned them). They also said he was doing well and slept his two, two hour naps. I put down the phone, called my husband and my mom to give them updates (yes he is way to loved). I decided to take a short lunch so I wouldn't think about Mateo.
Then work finished and I rushed to pick him up.
As soon as I entered the daycare and Mateo saw me, he started to wale and I could not stop him. They said he had some rough moments but he did OK. He pulled one of the girls' hair, (sorry little girl but maybe he has his first crush). We left the daycare and he calmed down, but then I was the one crying. I felt and still feel as I am writing this, a tremendous amount of guilt. Everyone keeps telling me, he has to adjust (even my husband) but I don't want him to have to adjust, I just want him to be his happy self.
I know I just have to go through this, but I have to say nothing anyone can say will make me feel better.
Should we have waited until the right time to have a kid when we could afford to have me stay home (but who knows when that is)? Is Mateo suffering for my decisions? Everyone says he isn't suffering but isn't it better for him to be at home then to be in the care of strangers? I know I am being dramatic but it is what I am thinking. Well I guess I just have to not think about it, because it will lead to my self destruction. I do have to say, that at least they had some elements of education everyday at daycare, so maybe he will be my genius after this, and hopefully not have mother issues that he will talk to his therapist in the future (just kidding)!
About Me
- Dish-licious.ca
- We are a community group for mothers, currently in the Orillia to Gravenhurst, Ontario area, we focus on food, nutrition and health for our family. We draw on expert knowledge such as naturopaths, but best of all we learn and share knowledge from fellow mothers. Even if you have never cooked before we can help you get started. We want to encourage moms to cook and learn the importance of what they put on the table. We are REALISTIC and STRIVE to make a healthy lifestyle accessible to everyone, through education. Membership is FREE so sign up to follow us today! We work together to share knowledge of everything from recipes, nutrition, to how to plan ahead. We offer something for every lifestyle, from just the basics of cooking, spaghetti and pizza, to people looking to learn something new about nutrition, organics or even raw cooking. Never cooked before, let us help you get started, we offer some basic cooking lessons from a mom, to help get you started and then this group will help keep you going for a lifetime of providing healthy and nutritious meals for your family. We offer: Workshops, share recipes, and fun get togethers.
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